Office Affair: YES or NO?

Everybody knows that we spend almost half of our lifetime at work, and this amount increases if a person has no private life or no family. At the same time, we still remain humans and our innate need for love and attention is to be satisfied. In this respect, the notion of an office affair is rather acute since office surrounding is one of the best ways to meet a soulmate or a life partner. Or, perhaps, vice versa? Let’s consider the pros and cons of an office affair.

Pros of an office affair

Your partner

If your potential lover is working for the same organization, take some time to examine his behavior. How he behaves, communicates with others, talks to the boss, if he uses offensive words, is able to convince others and responsible, how he reacts to stress and urgent situations. This information will largely help you if you are planning a serious long-lasting relationship.  

Always by your side

This point is especially convenient for anxious and jealous people. Your beloved person will always be mainly by your side or you will always know his location. Also, he won’t be able to use work, an urgent meeting, or a business trip as a pretense if he wants to have some rest from you. You will always be able to find out the truth. Besides, you will know all his colleagues.

Additional help

If your colleague cares about you just the way you do about him, congratulations! It means that he will always help you to meet a deadline, for instance, even if he has to fail with his own task. What is more, he will eagerly teach you some skills that may help you to grow professionally.

Beneficial to private life

If a person experiences some troubles in private life and an office affair is at its initial stage, signs of attention will make a person more confident and raise their self-esteem. In this connection, there are many cases when an evolving office affair has helped to reconcile people in a doomed relationship.

Cons of an office affair

Emotions mixed with work are nothing but a time bomb

One of the coaches of Oxford business school says: “If you want to become successful, people in your office should hardly be interested in having a private life.” In other words, having fallen in love with our colleague, it would be very hard for us to control our emotions. Even if we succeed, our brain will be constantly occupied with such thoughts as: “Where is he/she now?”, “Why didn’t he/she smile to me in the morning?”, “Do I really look pretty today?”

Emotions and annoying thoughts will steal a lot of force and attention so that we will hardly be able to concentrate on our working tasks. As a result, a person risks to miss a deadline, lose some important information, make silly mistakes, etc. Also, it may happen that you will start subjectively reacting to your beloved person’s words and remarks, under the influence of emotions and feelings.

Any advice?

You have to separate private and office life. Make it clear that any suggestions, remarks, and complaints about the quality of work refer to work only. It shouldn’t be a discussion of your personality, a desire to humiliate or insult. If you co-habit, make sure you leave all the working scenarios in the office. Also, try not to quarrel in the morning since you may spoil each other’s working mood for all day long.

Relationship under a magnifier

Are you lacking public attention? Fall in love with your colleague. It is common knowledge that in office life, all conflicts, intrigues, and increased attention result from people’s continuous stay in closed space. People need to spend their energy somewhere, that’s why they use others for this sake. Therefore, if you engage in an office affair, wait for spectators. Be ready you will be spied on, your working place will be examined while you are absent, as well as your pages in social networks.

Any advice?

Remember about confidentiality. Don’t boast about your private life, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Neither during working hours nor dinner and social networks. Even if your colleagues are your best friends. Also, you shouldn’t display too many emotions, tenderness and give each other presents. Inviting for a meeting, do it in a written form or without witnesses. Don’t forget to log out from your e-mail when leaving, don’t leave on your table suspicious things like common photos, presents, etc. If colleagues directly ask you about your private life, give a confident and calm answer: “It’s a private question.”

Pain after parting

Imagine your relationship fails. It would be immensely hard to see a person you’ve been happy with every day.

Any advice?

Why not move to another department or drastically change your job? Or not to engage in an office affair at all, if you aren’t sure about your sensitivity. Also, in many organizations, office affairs are strictly prohibited, which will be an additional warranty to help you to control your emotions.

What if I like/love my boss?

Well, if you only like your boss, it OK until your affection turns into infatuation. You see, it’s quite normal for people to like each other until this breaks definite moral rules. Once you have some stronger feelings to your boss, it may be a problem due to the reasons enumerated above.

However, at the point where true feelings are concerned, there are no boundaries. In any case, the main advice is the same. Don’t share your feelings with colleagues and discuss all “non-working” matters with your boss privately/through messages/meetings after work or at weekends.

All in all, it’s up to you to decide whether to engage in an office affair or not. If you believe that your colleague or boss is your fate, don’t lose your chance. After all, people meant for each other may meet anywhere, and office surrounding isn’t the worst variant.

The main thing you have to remember is being honest. If you feel that nothing connects you with the present partner and you want to start a relationship with another person, find enough courage to admit this truth and tell it to your partner. Honesty is the best policy, remember?

Also, don’t forget that happiness loves silence. Moreover, if we are talking about an office affair. Be cautious, optimistic, and talk less. Then everything would turn out perfectly fine!